Meghan: yo daaaaawg
11:06 AM something hilarious is happening right next to me right now
11:07 AM Meghan: haha
there are these two girls who i’m guessing don’t really know each other
Meghan: but are somehow, at this coffee shot right now, realizing that they are dating the same dude
Meghan: “I think we should both text him right now”
11:08 AM Meghan: uh, ok
me: LIKE AS IN THEY HAVE THE SAME BF?
Meghan: maybe just end it
me: ORE THEYRE DATING THE SAME GUY?
Meghan: they are both sleepign with him currently
me: ARE THEY EXCLUSIVE?
Meghan: one is crying now
me: BOTH OF THEM?
me: THIS IS AMZING
Meghan: you have no idea
Meghan: so many tears
I WOULD CRY TOO
AND THEN GO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE
Meghan: he texted one girl “you’re the best girlfriend ever. i want you to meet my family over spring break”
me: HOW DID THEY GET TO KNOW THIS?
Meghan: uh oh, sharing texts now
11:09 AM i have no clue
it just suddenly happened
GIRLS ARE AMAZING
they should BOTH dump him
he’s a scumbag
Meghan: uh oh, CALLING HIM NOW
KEEP TELLING ME THINGS
OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUER’ WTINESSING THIS
Meghan: “i just want you to know that i’m sitting in Buzz Cafe and Olivia is sitting right next to me”
Meghan: “you guys hung out the day before yesterday”
11:10 AM "you promised you would not hurt me. you promised me you would not do this to me:
HE HUNG UP ON THE CRYING GIRL
THIS IS SO SAD
Meghan: I’m supposed to be writing a paper, but this is too amazing to miss
me: THIS IS HORRIBLE
Meghan: i feel bad for laughing at them
me: THIS IS SO FUCKING INCREDIBLE
Meghan: it really is
me: THIS HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE
11:11 AM Meghan: thats what i’m saying
real life. real time. RIGHT NOW
he promised both of them separately that he had broken up with the other
big bag of LIES
11:12 AM Names: Hannah (blonde crying girl) Olivia (stoic brunette) Carlos (giant asshole)
Olivia is telling Hannah that he’s a scumbag and she needs to end it
11:13 AM Olivia is not upset in the same way Hannah is upset
ok, that’s your soap opera drama for today
i’m back to writing now
11:14 AM oh dear, a random girl now came over to give crying girl a hug
i don’t think she knows her
Meghan: she also seems to be russian
me: Which one was crying?
Meghan: or of some eastern european decent
hannah, blond one
me: which one isn’t that upset? the one who’s been dating him longer?
Meghan: can’t tell that many details
this is so incredible
Meghan: i know
11:22 AM me: omg
i can’t believe this just hapened in front of you
11:23 AM Meghan: its awesome
it was the perfect distraction
so terrible, but i need to write another 3-4 pages still.
how’s your day?
this has made it like OMG so awesome though
11:24 AM Meghan: here’s something more awesome: I think they are becoming friends
me: THIS IS AMZING
Meghan: bonding over the incredible douchery of this dude
me: THIS IS SO AMAZING.
Meghan: there is a lot of crying though
so much crying
me: THIS GUY IS SUCH A DOUCHEBAG
Meghan: yeah he is
me: Carlos: dirtbag extreme.
11:25 AM me: Hi my name’s Carlos. I’m the man of your nightmares
Carlos, here. I’ll fuck your shit uuuuup
But you might make a friend out of it.
11:26 AM So really, am I THAT bad of a guy?
Meghan: now carlos is texting the brunette
me: OMG NO
THIS IS STILL HAPPENEING
Meghan: “That was a bitch move”
Meghan: and then some stuff i couldn’t hear
11:27 AM me: oh no he DIDN’T
Meghan: cause he’s definitely the one who should be upset…
me: Such a fucking asshole
Meghan: they are now going through texts
me: Oh my god
Meghan: alright, i gotta go to class
sadly i won’t see how this ends
Meghan: but i’ll talk to you ater
IT’S WORTH IT
me: AAAAHHH I NEED TO FLY TO EUGENE STAT
Meghan: YES YOU DO
11:28 AM but not only for this ridiculous
me: SEE meg, things happen in eugene
Meghan: alright man, i’m off to class
me: have fun
go find carlos, go on a date